
“I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!
Revelation 3:15-16 NLT
I was a lukewarm Christian and God let me have exactly what I wanted. In Hopkinsville I was introduced to Meth. Within 6 months I was an IV user and couldn’t get enough. In 2 years I caught 17 felonies in Kentucky and was looking at serious time. I was still on parole in Texas and had to pay the piper there too. 3 and a half years later I was finally back in KY and graciously given a chance at drug court in Judge Self’s courtroom. I completed drug court without a single sanction. I was finally free from drugs and alcohol and had God in my life but I still hadn’t completely surrendered.
But because you are stubborn and refuse to turn from your sin, you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself. For a day of anger is coming, when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed.
Romans 2:5 NLT
Inevitably without Jesus running the show I relapsed after 17 months of sobriety. I was devastated and I gave everything away. I fell into a depression and even doubted my salvation. Demons were circling my soul and they wanted me. I was further in than I had ever been. I was addicted, unhealthy, hopeless and living out of storage rooms. My family shunned me, I couldn’t even look at myself in a mirror.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT
In the last days of that part of my life I met a woman. We instantly hit it off and became partners in crime. I knew that this woman would forever be a part of my life. We went through every worldly struggle that a couple could possibly go through. God was setting things up though because that is who He is. He makes beauty from disaster. At the time I was on the lam from my probation officer with a 7 year prison sentence over my head. They finally caught up to me after a year of running and being on the streets. I was locked up and sent to serve my time. Something was different though and God started opening doors. I had already previously served enough time on my 7 year consecutive sentence that it served me out on 2 year sentence which left me with a 5 year sentence. Guess who’s courtroom that left me in? The honorable Judge Self who I went through Drug Court with. He gave me another shot at sobriety and on April 10th 2020 he granted me shock probation and released me to Friends of Sinners. God used FOS to show me how to completely surrender and live a life that Jesus would want me to have. He used FOS to mold me into the man I have become today. FOS has become my earthly cornerstone. Guess what happen to my partner in crime? In a series of events that led her to jail and to surrender to Christ, she was accepted into the lady’s FOS and graduated. She maintains her sobriety today, 3 years later. We were married on July 17 2021. God gave me a wife that I love and cherish today. He is also showing me how to be a good husband.
My story is not perfect though. After 18 months of sobriety I relapsed which was a major blow to me and everyone around me. However, this was different than any other time before. God was gentle with me and put people in my life that loved and supported me through it. All those people are a direct result of the relationships I made while at FOS. I didn’t realize it at the time but God was sanctifying me through my struggles and is still working on me today.
We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin.
Romans 6:6 NLT
The best advice I heard was to get up and dust myself off and continue with the good fight. That’s exactly what I have done and God continues to bless me and my life. He has restored everything that I might have lost. My fall has actually been a blessing and I am beyond grateful for my life today. He has been with me the whole time and His love is more Powerful than anything man or this world can provide. He is Love. It all started with FOS teaching me how to how to live…..